


Eddie, Please

by Loki_ate_my_pudding



Series: Please [2]
Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Depressing, Sad, wow idk how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-05
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-01-09 08:46:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 21,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12272955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loki_ate_my_pudding/pseuds/Loki_ate_my_pudding
Summary: Eddie can't get a break, Richie just wants to admire his boyfriend, and will Sonia ever go away?(Second book, read Mommy, Please first!)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wow guys, it's now time for the second book! I loved writing Mommy, Please and i'm super excited to get into this one!

_He woke up in the dark of the sewer, and Eddie couldn't see three feet in front of him. The smell of shit wafting up his nose, making him gag slightly. He could count the hazards of being so deep in the sewers on his hands, the thoughts of disease filling his mind. He never once thought about the danger he could possibly be in._

_He shivered slightly at the cold breeze from unknown origin, confused as to how the hell a breeze could make it's way deep into the sewers. He frowned._

_"What the fuck?" He asked himself, looking all around. Confusion seemed to cloud his mind, completely unaware as to how he even got this deep into the sewers before coming to the realization that he was alone. "Richie? Bill? Stan?!" He called, hearing his own voice echo back, sadly none of the losers. He frowned deeper than before._

_"Richie!" He shouted, starting to feel worry fill his body. The thought of being forgotten and left alone in the dirty, disgusting sewers. He shivered again, starting to feel more and more sick as the minutes ticked by. "Richie, Please! Help! I'm here!"_

_He looked around, desperate for an idea as to where he was meant to go. "Fuck." He mumbled to himself, deciding to go left. He looked around, not being able to see anything, but the movement seemed semi comforting._

_He was desperate for any idea as to where he was or where he was going, close to tears as he wandered through the grey water, the thought making him gag again. He sniffled slightly, shaking his head and continuing into the darkness. "Please be the way I need to go, please please please." He whimpered slightly to himself._

_He could see his hands in front of his face now, and he assumed that was a good sign. He picked up his face until he was nearly jogging, his feet making the water splash up as he hurried towards the slightest bit of light. He felt out of breath when he saw daylight, running towards it now. "Richie! Bill" He shouted, calling out the names of his friends._

_"Eddie!" It was Richie's voice, and it motivated Eddie to run even faster towards the light. He finally got to them, slightly bending over and panting. "Thank god I found you, I was so scared!"_

_"Scared of what, Eddie?" Richie asked, and Eddie noticed something about his voice. The cold, hard voice. It wasn't Richie, that thing in front of him wasn't Richie._

_He took a step back, but Richie took two steps forward, advancing on the younger kid. "Scared of what, Eddie?" It asked again, louder now. Eddie turned and started to run, sprinting back into the dark tunnels, desperate now to get away._

_But It chased him, followed him deep into the sewers until he collapsed, lungs trying to fill with air as he wheezed desperately. "Oh, wheezy, why'd you go and do that? It's only gonna be worse for you." He watched in horror as Richie's face slowly morphed into It's, fear filling his body as he screamed._

Eddie sat straight up, screaming, eyes wide open. The other kids surrounded him, their eyes wide as they stared at their best friend. "Eds!" Richie shouted, grabbing Eddie's hand and trying to calm him down. He panicked, quickly backing away from Richie with wide eyes. He didn't want to have another nightmare, he wanted to be at home with Richie, in his bed. He wheezed, keeping himself curled up against the wall of the sewer.

"Eddie, it's okay, it's just us. Let me get your inhaler, Eds, you can hardly breathe." Richie spoke softly, and Eddie knew the difference between his voice and the nightmare version of him. He hesitantly let Richie come closer to him and pull the inhaler out of his fanny pack, pressing it to his lips.

After a few minutes, the kids had calmed down enough to move out of the sewers and sit in the grass. "What happened?"

"Bill and Stan were being dumbasses and throwing rocks at each other, and Bill accidentally nailed you in the head" Ben explained, jokingly scowling over at Bill, who blushed and looked down.

"I d-didn't mean to-o!"

"It's fine, Bill.'' Eddie smiled weakly and leaned against Richie, who's arm was wrapped tight around his waist.

"Why'd you wake up screaming though, Eddie?" Stan asked, looking over. Richie scoffed slightly, "Wouldn't you wake up screaming if you had a group of uglies, except for me, staring at you?"

Eddie shook his head, elbowing Richie slightly, "No, it was just a bad dream." He mumbled, closing his eyes slightly. The memories of the dream seemed to be fading fast, and he couldn't even remember what made him so scared.

"Why were we even in the sewers?" Beverly piped up after a few minutes of silence, and the rest of the group shrugged. "To have fun?"

"Fun isn't wading in piss and shit, Mike." Ben chuckled. Richie gasped and Eddie felt him puff up his chest a bit.

"I beg to differ, sir!"

"Beep beep, Richie."

-

Richie could stay like this forever, arms wrapped tight around Eddie's small waist, the smaller boy tucked against his chest as small snores escaped his slightly parted lips. He smiled at the sight and the feeling, another mental picture to add to the collection he was building of his boyfriend. He didn't have nightmares anymore, but he didn't like to sleep when he could spend his time cuddling with Eddie.

Eddie, however, loved sleep, seeing as the nightmares had slowly diminished from his mind. He didn't think about whatever happened that summer anymore, all he knew was it was some bad shit and he definitely was more scared of leper's and clowns, but he couldn't remember what it was that made him that way, and it seemed that all of the other loser's couldn't remember either.

But he didn't mind it. He could sleep soundly now, with the occasional night terror about his mother, but he didn't need to worry about the woman anymore. Not if he spent his last days before his freshmen year in highschool tucked in his boyfriend's strong arms. He wouldn't have to worry about anything if he was with Richie. And Richie felt the same, like all the worries in the world were gone with Eddie was cuddled against his chest, his eyes closed slightly as his hands tangled themselves in Richie's black curls.

  
The two felt invincible when they were together.

**(I hope this is a good start for this book! Get yourselves Reddie for another emotional rollercoaster of hurt and comfort, because I'm about to do what I do best - make people sad *Insert sunglasses face emoji*)**


	2. Chapter 2

**(Just so you guys know, the band in referencing in this is called Gwar. They're a metal band, they formed in 84, and yes - they do wear strange costumes and masks. Look it up.)**

  
If Eddie could chose, he'd rather be in his- Richie's bed, cuddled up to the taller boy, watching a movie while Richie talked about whatever nonsense was in his head at that time. The movie would be forgotten halfway through when Eddie would get tired and turn over, cuddling closer to Richie and closing his eyes. Richie would run his hand through Eddie's hair, soothing him to sleep.

But instead, he sat in the middle row of his English class.

As much as he wanted to listen to what the teacher was saying, he got bored easily of the monotone rambling, his voice made Eddie feel like his ears were full of cotton, the words jumbling together in a group of deep, emotionless blah's. He stared at the teacher, bored, until papers were being passed back, where he was expected to answer thirty of the fifty questions before the bell rang twenty miutes later, signaling his release from the drab classroom. And it did, as per usual, ring on time and all the students in the class hurriedly handed in their papers and rushed out of the class as the boring teacher called out instructions for homework. Nothing was new, the routine dragging on until his fifth period class, gym, which had all of the losers in it.

He loved gym, even though he hated the physical activity. The teachers seemed to care less what the kids did, as long as they weren't shoving each other off the raised track that ran around the gym. With students so used to the routine of gym class, knowing they could very well just treadmill their ways to A's on their report cards, the gym teachers should've switched the routine, but they didn't. And the routine was all wacked for the next two periods that Eddie had Richie in his classes, before it went back to the same old monotone, drab rooms.

  
And Eddie liked it that way. He liked being able to run out of his ninth period class and see Richie waiting by the door, knowing he'd left his class early to be there before Eddie so he could hug him and they'd walk home together, but all that changed when Mr.Reed retired.

Mr.Reed, Eddie's ninth period Global History teacher, was a kind, old man who tought well. All of the students loved him, and he truly enjoyed his job. His replacement.., not so much.

Eddie didn't know it was happening until he walked into the classroom on a chilly Friday and instead of seeing Mr.Reed's motivational posters plastered on the walls, he saw a posted for some band he'd never heard of. His heart dropped at the sight, knowing instantly that kind, old Mr.Reed would never put a poster of a band dressed in strange costumes with horrifying masks on.

  
Rounding the corner to his usual seat, he noticed a tall man that he assumed was the new teacher standing at one of the large cupboards, pulling out thick, large, paperback books and setting them down on the closest desk nearby - Eddie's. His hair was dark brown, pushed back away from his face, and slightly curly. It reminded Eddie of his own. He hesitantly walked towards the desk, setting his bag down and sitting, staring at the pile of books in front of him.

"I'm sorry, is that your desk?" The man spoke up, pushing his small glasses up his nose and looking at Eddie, who nodded slightly. "Yes, sir."

The man nodded and picked up the books, moving them to his larger desk, muttering an apology to Eddie before the other students started piling into the class. He sat nervously, watching as the teacher passed out the thick books with his lips set in a firm frown. He looked strangely familliar to Eddie.

"Alrighty, now for attendance." He mumbled and Eddie didn't know if it was directed towards the class or ig he was just talking to himself. He went down the list, calling the names easily before he hesitated slightly.

Eddie frowned when he realized the name he was hesitating at was his own.

"Eddie Kaspbrak?" He called and looked up, eyes landing on Eddie. He raised his hand shyly, biting his lip. The unnamed man looked down at the paper and marked it, standing up and writing his own name on the board.

When he stood back and the students could see his name, Eddie knew instantly why the man was so familliar.

  
**(Any guesses on who mystery man is?? ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**(Honestly, you guys commenting on the last update was my favorite thing to watch lol. His dad? His Brother? His son or him from the future where a mothman falls in love with him after Richie's tragic death? You guys might have to wait another chapter to find out.** **This chapter also goes a bit more into detail about what the Toziers are like, and that may or may not be important in the future. )**

Eddie left his class last, a rare occurrence in which he felt like he couldn't move any faster, even though he wanted nothing but to get out of that class as fast as he could. His heart was beating fast in his chest when he finally saw Richie, instantly wrapping his arms around him.

Richie looked down, confused a bit before doing the same, deciding to ask Eddie about it when he was ready to talk. His arm stayed around Eddie's waist as they walked towards the house, the one that Eddie still struggled to say was his own.

His eyes were wide when Richie sat down next to him at the kitchen table with more of his Bomb ass Ramen, passing a bowl to Eddie, who smiled weakly and relaxed a little. _You're at home with Richie._

Eddie felt like he could cry and laugh at the same time, but he ate the food and listened to Richie chat about his day. He could listen to Richie talk all day long, as much as he pretended to hate his loud mouth. **(Trashmouth Tozier)**

Crying wasn't an option when he still had food to eat, homework to do, and cute boys to cuddle.

Richie's parents were never home during the day, his dad being a dentist, and Eddie never really knew what his mother was, but they didn't come home until around 7 (sometimes later if they stopped at the store or went to the mall or got drunk and went to the bar prior to coming home.) And the boys didn't mind, because they could be as loud and obnoxious as they wished.

Eddie loved living with the Tozier's. He spent all his spare time with Richie, they kept the kitchen primarily stocked, and he got all his basic needs (plus whenever the Tozier bought the two boys special things, which was usually after they obviously witnessed a loud fight that kept them awake.) It was better than spending his nights locked in his room with Sonia pushing pills down his throat.

He shivered when he thought of his family, considering that he figured they were all horrible people. He never talked to his family unless it was Sonia, because they seemed to shut out the two. He tried to remind himself that they weren't really family if they didn't treat him like it, and the Toziers, two unhappily married, alcoholics treated him more like family than his actual blood. 

 

But it was hard when late at night all he could think of was how he really missed his mom, even after all the shit she put him through. He missed the woman who used to hug him before he went to bed and told him she loved him. He missed the woman who always looked after him. 

 

Sonia changed, and Eddie soon came to realize that he was the reason she wasn't the same, kind woman she used to be. She changed because HE would get himself hurt. She changed be cause HE was sick. Part of him thought he wasn't the reason, though. Because he never did anything for her to call him fat and tell him to lose weight. He never did anything to make her hit him. 

 

But now he had Richie. The trashmouth boy that half the town disposed because of his colorful choice of words and insults. None of them knew the real Richie, though. Eddie could live off how Richie treated him, always watching out for him and being there for him. Always holding him when he needed it. 

 

He just smiled as Richie continued to talk and took their bowls to the sink, cleaning them up fast before he went to the living room and turned in the tv, jumping on the couch. Eddie sat beside him, cuddling up close to him and closing his eyes contently. He could stay like this forever, just one of Richie's arms wrapped around his shoulders as he leaned against him. 

 

Whatever was on the TV wasn't getting much attention from Eddie when his eyes closed and he let sleep overtake him, Richie softly rubbing his shoulder soothing him. Richie smiled down at the younger kid leaning on him. As much as Eddie loved the feeling, Richie was convinced that he loved it more. 

 

He wanted to know what had Eddie so shaken up earlier that day, but he knew not to pry when Eddie was upset. Richie didn't mind waiting until he was ready. He just wished Eddie was ready now so he could help him figure it out. 

 

Eddie woke up hours later, and neither of them had moved from their position. The house was still void of the older Toziers, and Eddie figured he should explain to Richie why he was so upset. 

 

He didn't sit up, just moved his arm so he could hold Richie's hand on his lap. "Richie?" His voice was sleepy, and Richie looked down with a small smile. 

 

"Yeah, Eds?" 

 

"I gotta tell you something.." 

 

**(How much do you hate me for leaving it off like this?)**

 


	4. Chapter 4

**(I'm sorry it's taken me so long to update, my life is a mess and I try to cope with everything by hanging out with friends and going to school dances but at the end of the night, I always end up crying and eating Zebra Cakes while listening to my playlist and writing. Here's chapter four, by the way. )**

Frank Kaspbrak.

The name bounced around in his head, leaving him dizzy and sick feeling. "R- Richie?"

"Hey, Bill, what's up?" Richie'a joke attempted to relieve excess stress, but seemed to do no good. Eddie's hands were shaking when he sat up a bit, looking at his boyfriend.

"My new Global History teacher... he's my dad. My actual, biological dad, Richie." He frowned, biting his lip.

Richie frowned too, furrowing his eyebrows. "But, didn't Sonia say he was dead?"

"Yes.. but Sonia was a lier and we both know that. He looked really familiar to me and he hesitated when he read my name off on the attendance sheet, and he put his name on the board, Richie, it's really my dad.  " Eddie leaned back agaiIt t his boyfriend, curling up against his side.

"How do you feel about that, Eds?" Richie looked worried about it, the thought that his father was in town scaring him. _What if he tries to take Eddie away from us?_

Eddie shrugged a bit, just leaning into Richie's side. He sighed slightly, grabbing Richie's hand and rubbing his thumb over the back of his hand. "I don't really know... he hasn't been a part of my life and he just shows up.., what if he tries to involve himself? Like, with me?"

Richie wrapped his other arm around his shoulder, rubbing his arm gently. "It'll be okay, Eds. My parents have legal custody over you anyway, so even if he tries to fuck with you, you know you're alright. "

Eddie sighed and closed his eyes, resting his head against Richie's shoulder. "I'm just worried."

Richie nodded a bit, kissing the top of his head. "I know, Eds, but it'll all work out." Richie wished he could better help with the problem at hand, running short of shitty jokes and good advice.

Eddie just kept himself tucked against Richie's side, eyes shut tightly. "Can we stay like this forever?" He asked quietly, and if Richie's mind wasn't captivated by everything he did, he probably would've missed it.

"I wish, Eddie Spaghetti, but for now we can." He smiled gently, turning the tv back on and shifting to a move comfortably position. Eddie stayed half on his boyfriend, face buried in the crook of his neck as he closed his eyes, paying no attention to the program on tv.

-

"Eds, it'll be okay, I promise I'll be outside your class when the bell rings to get you, okay?" Richie held both of Eddie's hands in the back of their last class together. Eddie only nodded, reaching to hug him tightly.

"I don't want to do it, Richie, Im so scared." Eddie whimpered slightly, keeping his arms around Richie.

Richie sighed sadly and rubbed his back. "I know, spaghetti, but you have to. We can't have you failing freshman year because of some silly asshole, now, can we? Maybe tomorrow we can go talk to the guidance office about gettimg you a new teacher?"

Eddie nodded a bit and pulled back, looking up at Richie. "Thank you, Rich." Richie smiled and kissed the top of Eddie's head.

"Anything for you, Eds."

The classroom wasn't unfamiliar, but navigating it still made his hands shake with nerves. His throat felt dry when he sat in the back on the class, pulling out the notebook.

Mr.Kaspbrak's dark eyes on him made him feel uncomfortable, waiting for the inevitable question about talking to him after class or who his Mother was. He shivered at the thought of that, picturing the older Kaspbrak to ask him about his life now. He felt sick again. Why do I always feel sick?

He couldn't be more terrified when the older man stood and walked over to his desk, his shaking hands only shaking more. "Eddie. So that's the name Sonia picked."

The words were simple enough, but they made the small boy cringe and want to run away. Maybe it was the mention of Sonia, or maybe it was the hint of criticism in his voice when he said his name. He stared up at him with wide eyes, wishing now more than ever that the other students in his class were on time.

"How is she, though? I haven't seen her since the day she told me she was pregnant. " Eddie could tell he was a horrible person the second those words left his mouth and he cringed again. He hated the man the instant he knew who he was. 

"I don't talk to Sonia anymore. " He simply responded, looking down at his paper and working on some of the work. He just wanted to go home and be with Richie.

"She's your mother, Eddie, what do you mean you don't talk to her? You live with her." He frowned and almost seemed angry. It made Eddie shiver again.

"I don't live with her." He kept his head down, ignoring the rest of Mr.Kaspbrak's questions. The older man seemed too angry for his own good, the thought making Eddie freak out a bit.

The bell rang and the rest of the students poured into the room, filling the seats and Eddie's shaking hands slowly stilled. He let out a sigh of relief when Mr.Kaspbrak was back at his own desk, teaching the class again.

The fear that he couldn't say no to the teacher because of his authority made him shiver. His dad had complete authority over Eddie in the classroom, and the thought of it alone made him feel the same sick feeling he used to get when Sonia was around.

He could only imagine how his father would react when he found out Eddie was living with his boyfriend. He could imagine the anger radiating of him like it did off his mother. He wondered if He'd try to shove pills down Eddie's throat too.

And the class was done, students were packing up and the bell was seconds away from ringing when Eddie heard his dad call him over to his desk. The small boy could see Richie waiting outside the door through the glass, shooting him a nervous look and hesitantly walking over to his desk. "Yes?"

"I'd like to speak with you." His words were cold,  just like the words from the people in his nightmares, and Eddie felt his heart rate pick up. Surely his dad wasn't insane enough to force Eddie to do things his first week of work.

"I have to go. No time to stay and chat." The bell rang and Eddie only managed to take one step before he felt the strong grip on his wrist. The memory of his mother grabbing his arm in what felt like the same vice grip made him nearly vomit right there. "Get your hand off me."

But that only seemed to anger the man more as the grip on his wrist tightened and Eddie felt the strong yank, sending him stumbled back towards the desk. "I said Id like to speak with you. "

"And I said get your hand off me! Richie!" Eddie shouted, trying to pull his arm back, but this man was much stronger than his mother was. The fear just grew stronger inside him when Richie burst into the room and rushed over, pulling Eddie away from the man.

'You fucking creep! Stay the fuck away from him, or I swear I'll beat your ass after hours!' Richie wanted to scream at the man, bur he only scowled.

"Keep your filthy hands off him, creep." He grumbled and led the panicking Eddie out of the room. "Eds, what happened?"

Eddie shook his head, gripping Richie's arm tightly. Richie knew instantly what was happening, rushing Eddie to the bathrooms down the hall and helping him sit on the cool floor. "Hold on, Eds, I've got your inhaler in my bag somewhere."

Richie desperately searched through his bag for the small item, pulling it out and wiping the mouth piece of with his shirt, holding it to Eddie's lips. After a few puffs, he could see Eddie's breaths slow down to a healthier speed. He didn't speak, only wrapped his arms around Richie's neck and clung to him tightly.

Richie's arms wrapped around the smaller boy's waist, holding him gently. "Eds, are you alright?"

Eddie shook his head, not letting go of Richie, who rubbed his back gently. They stayed that way for a while before Richie pulled back. "We have to get home, Eds, then we can eat out the whole kitchen and cuddle all night, okay?"

Eddie nodded softly and let Richie pull him to his feet, grabbing his hand and walking with him out of the school. Eddie wished he could just be home right now and not have to walk the whole way back. The walk wasn't long, but it felt like three hours to the boys, both just wanring to eat and cuddle the night away.

"So, I was like 'look, Jen, I get that you're fucking obsessed with him, but you know that he's gay, right?' and she got actually mad at me!" Richie laughed, telling Eddie about the girl from his third period that claimed to be in love with his boyfriend. Eddie laughed along, the incident almost entirely forgotten as Richie's bad jokes and funny stories eased the tension.

"So, how about food? What do you want to snack on today?" Richie smiled when they got to the kitchen, looking through cupboards. Eddie shrugged slightly.

"I dunno, Richie. You pick." Eddie smiled and Richie ran about the kitchen, grabbing things to make their food. "What are you even making?"

"No idea, Eds, but its gonna be good!"

And Eddie could watch him smile about cooking for his whole life and never not be satisfied.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, i'm just hoping i can finish this book before i end up fuckin dead lol. sounds shitty, i know, but at this point i don't feel like i should even be here. i'll just let myself slowly slide downhill and i'll continue to write until i can't anymore.

 

Eddie felt like he couldn't go one day without having some sort of horrible thing happen to him, and that was the only consistant thing in his life. He watched everything else around him change, and he watched things slowly fall aprt, but he noticed that every single day of his life, things went wrong.

It wasn't any different the day his own faher assugned him detention, and somehow managed to be his detention advisor. He silently hoped that there would be other students in the detention room, but he reminded himself that nothing ever went right for him.

How Richie had been notified that Eddie would be in detention for an hour after school confused him to no end, beacue at the end of ninth period, the older boy failed to show up at the door of the class, and Eddie felt his heart break a little. He frowned, staying in the back of the classroom that he was told was the detention room.

His wide, brown eyes followed his father's every move, nothing  but fear fueling him to do so. His hope that another student would be assigned the same detention adviser slowly diminished as the seconds ticked by on the clock hanging by the doorway.

He felt significantly more unlucky when Mr.Kaspbrak pulled his rolling chair to the front of the room, straight across from Eddie. "Seems like it's just you and I, Eddie. "

Eddie swallowed down the disgust, keeping his mouth shut as he ignored the man in the front of the room, staring at the consistently ticking hand on the clock. He figured if he kept this up for a while, Frank would give up. That was all he could hope for.

"Eddie, I'm talking to you. Didn't your mommy ever teach you respect?" He seemed to taunt the small freshman boy in the back of the classroom. His voice made Eddie shiver, and he didn't know it was possible to hate someone who he'd only known for a few days. "No? I guess I'll have to, then."

Eddie snapped his head over to the man, one thought alone in his mind: Is he going to hit me?

"That's it. Look at people when they're speaking to you. I just want to talk to my son, is that too much to ask?" Frank tilted his head as he watched the boy like a hawk. Eddie felt like he was going to vomit if he opened his mouth, though he knew he wouldn't.

"It is. You decided to leave, and I want nothing to do with you." He tried to sound mature, failing when his voice wavered, giving away the fear. He could see the way Frank's lips curled into a menacing smirk at that. "Well, that's no way to speak to your father, is it?"

"You're not my father. I don't have one." Eddie swallowed back bile again, something that seemed like an all too familiar task. He watched Mr.Kaspbrak stand, too fast for Eddie to fully comprehend. He flinched slightly at the movements.

"I told you to show me some respect, boy, I swear if you don't-"

"You'll what? Leave? That's all to familiar, isn't it, now, Frank?" Eddie cursed himself, wishing he'd never picked up some of Richie's loud, trashmouth.

"No, I'll do so much worse than leave." Eddie gulped at the words, watching Frank with wide eyes. He gripped his pencil tight in his hand. "There's so many things I could do to you, Eddie. Don't think I don't have access to your files. I'm a teacher, I know all your information. I know about those little pills you take, Asthma? Was it Cystic Fibrosis and COPD or something? Who knew you'd be so weak. " Frank seemed to spit out the words like venom, the tone sounding an awful lot like Sonia's.

"Now I know why you fucked Sonia, you're practically the same. " Eddie spat back, and even though he felt nothing but fear, he knew he'd push the limits to get Frank to break. Eddie never thought of himself as manipulative, but when he realized he could get Frank fired if he hit him, he knew what he had to do.

"Me and Sonia are far from the same person. She's just a germaphobe freak, seems like you've turned out the same." Frank didn't seem to be effecting Eddie anymore, his words going in one ear and out the other. "Actually, you and her have a lot in common. You both turned out to be fucking fat freaks"

His words made Eddie flinch this time, the insults hitting a bit too close to home. Fat. Freak. He couldn't deny that the fat insult made him self conscious.

"Oh, I've hit a nerve now, have I? Was it the fat bit, or comparing you to your mother?" Eddie decided that Frank was sadistic, the tears filling his eyes ignored by both parties.

"Fuck off." Two simple words, such as "fuck off", wouldn't be expected to have an extreme backlash, however, they seemed to when Frank stalked closer to the anxiety ridden freshman.

"What did you just say to me?" Frank growled lowly, gripping the small boy's wrist. Eddie looked up a him, noting but pure determination and hatred on his face. "Fuck. Off."

The hands that found their way to his neck felt too cold and too warm at the same time as they tightened, cutting off his airways. They had no remorse, no care for the body beneath them. "Say it again." The owner of the assaulting hands growled at the small boy, and suddenly, he couldn't feel his feet on the ground, but his back against the cool, brick wall.

"F-Fuck off." He struggled behind the hands, kicking his feet until they hit flesh, feeling himself drop to the ground. The sound of two bodies hitting the cold ground filled the room, followed by the desperate gasps for air, and pained groans.

Eddie gripped at the fabric of his shirt on his chest, as if that would help his lungs fill with air. He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, trying to focus on his breathing and get it under control before the older man could attack again.

After a few moments of desperate breaths, he stood, rushing to grab his bag and leave, slamming the door behind him. The small boy stood back from the treacherous room. He'd done his job, though. Surely there had to be something done about this now.

He could make his way home alone, right? He had no clue where Richie was, so it seemed as if he had to. He looked around the empty hallway, eyes scanning the closed doors for any sign of life and finding none.

The school seemed nearly deserted as he made his way to the front doors, silently watching the classes around him and flinching at every noise and movement. He still felt like he couldn't breathe, the marks on his neck felt like they were burning into his skin, and God, he just wanted Richie Tozier.

He had truly no idea what to do, letting himself collapse on the freshly cut grass in the courtyard, leaning against the trees. His schoolbag seemed void of the small inhaler, the one thing he constantly reminded himself to have.

Who's house is closest?

But he couldn't pinpoint his friends' houses as hell felt focused on the burning marks on his neck. His fucking neck, of all places. If the man was smart, he would've known better than to mark Eddie's neck of all places. Eddie almost laughed at it.

Just get yourself home. Richie will show up eventually.

The house wasn't too far, but for a small boy with asthma who'd just been strangled half to unconsciousness, it seemed like he was crossing the country. The walk to the house seemed too long way too often.

Richie must've already gone home, because the door was unlocked when Eddie stumbled in, almost falling onto the floor. His eyesight was blurry from the tears as he navigated his way to the living room, knowing Richie would show up before the older Tozier's would.

But Eddie couldn't keep himself awake as breathing through his seemingly crushed windpipe became Harder.

  
(Okay, his windpipes are nOT actually crushed, he just feels like they are. I'm aware that a crushed windpipe would actually kill you, but his lung problems already make it hard for him to breathe, and adding strangulation would just make it overwhelming, which is why he nearly falls when he's entering the house and he collapses outside of the school. I promise the next chapter won't have too much angst...)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Im alive

By the time Richie got home, the sun was settling gently on the horizon, the sky a pretty pinkish color, some purples and blues fading into it. He didn't think he'd been gone for so long. assuming he'd spent about two hours with the others, waiting for Eddie to show up. He wasn't at the school when Richie showed up, either, and Richie got mad. _Of course he ditched us._

But the anger that boiled inside Richie quickly dissipated when he saw the back door to the Tozier household wide open, and it was replaced by fear. He was sure he'd closed it after he'd stopped by to get a few bottles of water for the group, but Eddie always closed doors behind him, and his parents' cars weren't in the driveway. 

Eddie's small frame laying on the couch wa innocent enough from where Richie stood in the kitchen, the only light being the dim, old bulb that stuck out from the ceiling in the room Richie stood in, a soft yellow light cast into the hallway of the living room. "Eds, what the fuck? You didn't show up today, we were waiting for you!" Richie didn't mean to sound as angry as he did, even tough he wasn't even mad anymore.

The lack of responce from the small boy made worry fill Richie, his eyebrows furrowing as he reached for the lightswitch that turned on the living room lights. Richie didn't know what he expected to see when he turned on the lights and looked at Eddie, but the blooming purple bruises around his neck were definitely not it at all.  His eyes widened at the sight, and suddenly, the once innocent image of Eddie's sleeping form became much more sinister. "Eddie, oh my god!" 

He wasn't sure if he'd ever moved faster in his whole life, his whole body lurching towards the couch as he dropped to his knees, immediately checking for a pulse. It was there, the steady drumming beneath his fingers almost instantly calming his nerves. ''Eddie, come on, wake up." He moved his hands from the boy's wrist to gently shake his shoulders, attempting to wake the small boy up. His eyes were wide, watching Eddie's face for any sign of consciousness. 

-

Eddie didn't want to open his eyes, the light already burning through his eyelids. He wanted to keep them shut forever, to never open them and have to be faced with the world again. The only downside being he wouldn't be able to see Richie Tozier anymore. "Rich, stop shaking me." His voice was scratchy and hoarse, and he nearly startled himself when he spoke.

"Eddie! Fuck, dude, I thought I was gonna have to take you to the hospital again. You know, for a kid who's been sheltered his whole life, you sure do get hurt a lot." Richie pointed out, his hands gently helping Eddie sit up. "You look like you need ice..." 

Eddie cracked his eyes open, wincing slightly and closing them again, shaking his head. "No, the bruises have to be there... I'm gonna go to administration tomorrow and tell them about everything." 

"Eds, what, exactly, is this snazzy 'everything' you speak of?" Richie attempted a shitty joke, only to get quickly shut down with Eddie's loud groan. 

"It may or may not involve me being strangled by Frank? I was in detention and he started to talk to me about mo-Sonia and I tried to ignore him but he just kept saying I was disrespectful and he was gonna 'teach' me and, fuck, Richie, I was so fucking scared." Eddie felt his voice crack as he finaly broke down, the reality of being strangled by his own blood dawning on him. "Richie, he could've killed me..." _And I was so fucking close to letting him._  

The amount of times Eddie had broken down in Richie's arms would've been embarrassing to any other 13 year-olds, but the two couldn't find it in themselves to care all that much. Richie's arms always found their way around Eddie's small frame, and Eddie's fists always gripped the fabric of Richie's shirt, and besides the consistancy of bad things in Eddie's life, the comfort sessions was a close second.

He shook his head against Richie's chest, and as much as he willed himself to stop crying, the tears kept cascading down his freckled cheeks, wetting Richie's ugly Hawaiian shirt. "Eds, it's okay now, he can't hurt you anymore." He rubbed the boy's back gently, kissing the top of his head. 

"H-he can, Richie, he knows everything about me. He- he has the school's file on me, meaning he knows about all my medicines and where I live, and he could hurt me whenever he wanted to and-" Eddie cut himself off with a small sob, his lips unable to hold it back as he leaned impossibly closer to the older boy. Richie's hold on Eddie only grew tighter. 

''Not if I'm around, Spaghetti, I promise you. He's gonna have to defeat the all-mighty Toziers first." Richie smiled weakly, "We're family, and even if mom is drunk off her ass and dad just got home from fucking another bitch, we're still gonna protect each other because that's what Toziers do. You're a Tozier now, Eds." 

As silly as it sounded, Richie was entirely right. The Toziers wouldn't ever just let a man claiming to be Eddie's dad into the same room as him with no one else there, and they sure as hell protected each other. He knew that from the moment Richie first stood up for him when Bowers and his gang pushed him into a puddle of mud and spit on his inhaler. "Is that how you spit on Victor's cock before you take it up the ass?!" Richie's vulgar words were impossibly satisfying to the boy laying in the mud, who chuckled despite how disgusting he felt. 

"Thank you, Richie." He whispered softly against Richie's neck, closing his eyes tightly and letting Richie just hold him. 

"It's nothing, Eds, really. Now, about that ice."  
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry i forget to upload on this site, im always posting on wattpad

 

"Richie, what the fuck are you doing?" Eddie asked with raised eyebrows when he saw the older boy standing on the kitchen table with a box of doughnuts. "Get down, we eat there." Richie smirked proudly, keeping his feet planted firmly on the table.

"Edward Kaspbrak!" Richie screeched, his British guy accent loud and shrill. He chuckled when Eddie covered his ears with an annoyed look. "We are doing a grand Teenaged activity today! Skipping school in favor of much more appealing activities!"

Eddie removed his hand from his ears, eyebrows raised again as he looked up at Richie. "What might those activities be, and what makes them special enough to bring the British guy to Maine?" He joked lightly, sitting at the table that Richie still stood on. 

"This British guy will be taking the most beautiful, fair man in Derry, Maine on a day long date!'' Richie smirked in triumph, getting off the table and putting the box of doughnuts where he once stood. 

"So, you'll be going on a date with yourself?" Eddie looked up at him, a small smirk resting on his face when he saw Richie's face turn red momentarily. 

"Yes, yes I will. I've left you the doughnuts as a consolidation, I'm leaving you to date one of my voices." Richie joked, going back to his normal voice and snatching up a doughnut. "No, but really, I'm taking you on a date today. All day, and you're gonna have a shit ton of fun because I'm a fun person and I know everything that you like, and nothing is gonna go wrong today, because whatever it is, I'll punch it in the face and shove a spork up it's ass."

"Richie, your plan is flawed. What if it doesn't have an ass?" Eddie grabbed a doughnut too, smiling softly as he felt the blush spread across his face. 

"There will be sporks shoved somewhere else, mkay? Let's just get ready." Richie chuckled, finishing his doughnut fast and rushing to his room with a wide smile. Eddie smiled too, finishing up his own doughnut moments later and going after Richie. 

"Where's place number one, Rich?" He asked with a smile, slipping his pink Polo shirt on and clipping his fanny pack around his waist. He gripped one of the pill bottles from inside, tipping the daily dosage into his palm before popping it into his mouth, repeating with the others.

"numéro un is that ice cream place down the road from the Aladdin." Richie smiled, tugging on one of those damned Hawaiian shirts. Eddie smiled wide and nodded, grabbing Richie's hand and allowing the older boy to lead him out of the house and down the street. 

"Are you going to get one of those wild flavors that you always scrunch up your face at this time?" Richie joked, looking at the large board that displayed the flavors. Eddie let out a jokingly annoyed sigh. 

"No, I think I'll stick to the usual." Eddie smiled, watching as Richie scanned over the flavors. He always picked something funky, even though Eddie knew he'd be just as happy with vanilla as he would Rocky Road drizzled with caramel and chocolate with 100s&1000s and whipped cream. 

"Alrightly, Eds, you want me to order for you?" He smiled wide, walking closer to the window, where the irritated teen girl stood with a small notepad in her hand. 

"Can I help you two?" She asked, her voice monotone and bored. Richie felt bad for her. 

"Can I get one medium vanilla cone and one chocolate chip cookie dough with 100s&1000s please." Richie smiled and gave her a ten, much more than the actual price, but insisted he kept the change. 

Eddie held Richie's hand as the two waited for their ice cream, taking it and sitting on the picnic tables, chatting until it was gone. "Now, Eddie Kaspbrak, we're going to the movies, but we're gonna watch literally anything you want."

"Anything? As in movies they don't show anymore?" Eddie furrowed his eyebrows, cocking his head to the side a bit.

"Anything, Eds." Richie smiled and Eddie did the same, giving Richie  knowing look. "Oh no, I know what you're about to-"

"Gremlins!" Eddie shouted with a wide grin, standing up excitedly. Richie sighed and got up himself, grabbing Eddie's hand.

"Of course you pick Gremlins." Richie joked, walking with him to the theater. "I should've seen this coming."

The two boys sat in the very middle of the otherwise empty theater, Eddie leaning against Richie happily as the opening credits for the movie showed on screen. The two boys stayed that way the whole movie, Richie's arm around Eddie's shoulders as the small boy watched the movie with wide, happy eyes.  Richie only smiled down at him, hardly paying any attention to the film. 

By the end of the movie, time had completely gotten away from Richie when he saw the clock blinking a read 4:16 on the wall. "Quick, Eds, let's go get dinner." He smiled, grabbing Eddie's hand again and walking with him to the dinner on the outskirts of Derry.

The two sat in a both in the back corner, happily ordering their food as daylight shone through the windows, casting on the boys' faces. Eddie couldn't wipe the wide, dorky smile off his face as they ate their food, conversing about random things the whole time. 

By the time their food was gone and the bill was paid, Richie's hand had found it's way back to Eddie's as the two boys walked up one of the small, treeless hills, sitting down at the top. Richie pulled Eddie between his legs, one hand holding himself up and the other holding Eddie's smaller one. The two smiled and sat in comfortable silence, watching the sun set delicately under the hills surrounding Derry. Richie smiled. 

"I like you a lot, Eds." He kissed the top of the short boy's head, letting Eddie turn to face him. "I think I love you more than I love fucking Bill's mom." 

Eddie let out a laugh and shook his head, red coating his cheeks as he ran a hand through his hair. "I love you too, Richie." 

Before the two could even realize, their lips were pressed together, and Eddie's small hands hand found their way to Richie's curly black hair effortlessly. His eye's slipped shut at the feeling, Richie's arms wrapped around his waist. The two wanted to live the moment forever. 

It seemed like hours (Even though it'd only beet about thirty seconds) before they pulled away, both panting softly as the blushes on their faces were hardly noticeable in the blue light of the post sunset sky. Smiled etched their ways onto the boy's faces.

"Let's get home and cuddle the night away now, shall we?" Richie smiled, pecking Eddie's lips and helping the small boy up. Their hands almost instantly intertwined again, fingers lacing with each other. The smiled on their faces wouldn't be washed away as the walked home in the darkness, collapsing on the bed once they got there. 

"Thank you for the best date I've ever been on and the best date I'll ever have." Eddie mumbled happily once Richie's arms had wrapped around him again and pulled him close to his chest. He rested his head on the older boy's shoulder.

"I couldn't imagine doing it with anyone else. Not even Bill's mom." Richie smiled, rubbing Eddie's back as his eyes slipped shut. Eddie's did too. 

"I love you, trashmouth." He muttered tiredly. 

"I love you too, Eds." 


	8. Chapter 8

If Eddie Kaspbrak tried hard enough, he could probably convince Richie to let them stay home from school another day, but he didn't. He didn't spend the morning begging Richie to let him stay in the bed, wrapped in the warm embrace of the boy who loved him.

"Richie, can you go with me to the office today? I don't want to go alone..." Eddie looked up at the taller boy, who's hair was an absolute mess for some reason. Richie smiled and nodded at him.

"Of course, Eds, I'm assuming we're going to get that dick fired?" Richie held onto his hand tightly, smirking. Eddie nodded with a weak, forced smile.

He subconsciously rubbed at his neck, the purple marks still prominent against his pale, white skin. He shivered at the thought of them. "Richie? Do you think he's gonna actually leave me alone?" He looked up at the taller boy, fear on his face as he continued to rub at his neck, feeling the eyes of other students on him.

"We'll make him, spaghetti boy, don't you worry." Richie kissed the top of his head lightly and leading him to the office. "He's either gonna leave you alone, or I swear I'll actually beat his ass."

Eddie nodded again, hand still awkwardly rubbing at the back of his neck as Richie opened the door to the office, letting him in first. He shivered when the lady at the desk looked up, motioning them over. "Can I help you boys?" 

 

"Yes, we'd like to speak with an administrator about a serious situation involving one of the teachers here." Eddie looked  up at her as he spoke, his hand drifting from his neck to fidget by his side. The woman at the desk nodded, lifting one of the phones and calling the next office over. Eddie and Richie took seats in the office when she pointed at them, mouthing for them to wait until the administration came.

 

Richie bounced his leg off the rough carpeted ground, chewing on his lip as the two boys waited for the men to come. Waiting wasn't Richie's forte, he'd rather do something else instead of sitting in an office until they were ready to see the boys. The woman at the desk called the boys over me pointed to one of the other offices.

 

Eddie was nervous, his hands shaking by his side as he entered the room and sat on one of the hard chairs across the desk from a broad, bald man in a suit. He shivered when the man's eyes fell on his neck, widening. 

 

"How can I help you boys?" He asked them as Richie took the seat directly next to Eddie. He looked the two over, and Richie knew that Eddie felt uncomfortable.

 

"U-um, I have a major issue with one of the new teachers you hired... His name is Frank Kaspbrak." Eddie spoke, trying not to sound close to tears, even though it was obvious that he was. He nervously brought his hand back to his neck, rubbing softly at the bruising. 

 

"What seems to be the problem?" The older man asked, leaning back in the firm, leather chair. Eddie looked over at Richie, who nodded at him to continue. 

 

"He-he's my dad, and he, well, He did this to me.." Eddie didn't say anything else, feeling the burn in his eyes. "I-I got detention and I don't know why but he tried to talk to me and I wasn't looking at him or responding, he got mad and told me he was gonna teach me respect and-" 

 

"He strangled you? Has anyone seen him harm you, Eddie?" The man leaned forward now, eyes wide as he looked at the purple marks again. 

 

"I have, the first day he started to work here he grabbed Eddie's arm real tight and wouldn't let him go. " Richie spoke up, holding back all the smart comments he wanted to say. "I had to go in and help him." 

 

The man nodded, grabbing a piece of paper and writing some stuff down. Eddie felt relieved, a small wave of the feeling coursing through his body as he slouched in the chair slightly. 

 

"So, I want you two to stay here while I call the police and have them come over." The man spoke, pushing back the chair and standing as the two boys nodded. 

 

Richie waited until the door was closed to pull Eddie into his arms, hugging him tight. Eddie instantly retaliated, doing the same thing to Richie. "He's gonna be gone, Eds, don't you worry." Richie put his hand on the back of Eddie's head, gently flattening down his hair and kissing his forehead. Eddie smiled wide.

 

"Yeah.." Eddie mumbled to himself happily. 

 

Frank was gone.


	9. Chapter 9

The old, rusty playground down the road from Richie Tozier's house got a lot of use from the two boys. It seemed to be one of the only places the two went alone, without the rest of the losers. It wasn't much, just a few old swings that seemed ready to break, a half broken and wobbly see-saw, and some mokey bars, but the two boys coukd spend ours sitting on the swings in the middle of the night, silent or talking.

Richie preferred the talking, he wanted to jump at every chance he had to make Eddie smile and to relieve any tension. Mostly so he wouldn't be alone with his thoughts. But Eddie wished it was silent. He wanted to think, to hear what was floating in his mind clearly without missing something. He didn't want to miss what Richie was saying, but he didn't  want to miss what was floating through his mind either.

The two boys were eerily different and similar at the same time, and they knew it. Richie knew Eddie woukd rather have silence than loud music and talking, and Eddie knew Richie would prefer Guns-N-Roses and talk shows that came on TV, always makiing smart comments about them.

But even the boy who loved sound hated the noises the two heard late at night from wherever his parents were. The loud screams and hateful words floating through the house, filling the teen boys' ears, and no matter how loud Richie played his music, they'd still be able to hear vases breaking and thumps againsy the walls. Richie wondered how there were even vases left in his house, or maybe it was just his dad shattering his mother's bottles of Jack Daniels and Evan Williams.

And the two would always sneak out the back door and walk to the playground, Richie always pulling a cigarette out of somewhere and smoking it, being sure to blow it off in the opposite direction of the younger boy. Eddie always wondered where they came from, but never mentioned it. Richie only smoked when his parents broke stuff, something that confused the smaller boy, but he didnt mention that either.

"Do you ever wonder if they'll leave each other?" Richie asked, swinging slightly, putting out the cigarette on the woodchips beneath his feet. Eddie shrugged.

"Maybe. I'm not sure what's going to happen." He mumbled, closing his eyes and biting his lip. He sighed slightly. "Do you think we're ever gonna leave Derry?"

"Of course we're gonna leave, Eds. I'm not staying here for the rest of my life, no way in hell." Richie seemed to answer the question harshly, making Eddie flinch slightly. He instantly felt bad. "Sorry, Eds. West coast, California. We're gonna be famous, Eds, it's gotta happen."

"You're taking me too?" Eddie looked over, opening his eyes to stare at the curly haired boy. Richie ket out a laugh.

"Maybe I'll bring Ben's mom instead." He chuckled, rubbing his knee slightly. Eddie noticed the sad look on his face.

"I want to leave here and go to California if thats what you want to do."

Eddie knew he was whipped for the tall teen, he'd do anything Richie asked him to do in a heartbeat. The older boy had done so much for him, he wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to feel like he paid him off.

"Don't let me make your decisions." Richie mumbled, feeling bad for what he'd said. He didn't want Eddie to feel obligated to move with him, it was just something he assumed Eddie wanted to do. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"You're not." Eddie looked over again before returning his gaze to the oddly colored woodchips. He bit his lip, another action he'd become oddly accustomed to doing. The other was gripping Richie's shirts, but that wasn't relivent as the two sat on the rusted swings in the cool, November air. The wind nipped at the tips of Eddie's ears and nose, making him shiver slightly.

"I wish we could live on our own, Eds." Richie mumbled, looking up at the cloudless sky. Eddie watched him with curious eyes as Richie's scanned the stars. "Think that shooting star myth is true?"

"I wish it was." Eddie spoke softly, recalling the time he sat by his window and waited up all night for a shooting star, wishing for his mom to let him play with the other boys at school and to stop taking the pills. He couldn't have been more than eight as he sat in the chair, staring out the window with tired eyes. _I wish my mommy would let me play with the other boys. They seem awfully nice. I also really don't want to take those yucky pills._

"Let me guess, your shooting star wish didn't come true when you were five?" Richie tried to joke, but it just sounded sad. Fit the mood.

"Nine, actually. I wished that mom would let me play with the other boys at school and stop making me take medicine." Eddie smiled weakly, looking back at Richie, who had a fond smile on his face.

"I wished to get unlimited amounts of ramen and it didn't come true, so I instantly stopped wishing on them." Richie spoke, and Eddie couldn't tell if he was serious or not. Richie sighed slightly, something the two boys did a lot of when they sat at the playground.

"Did you really?" Eddie asked, eyebrows raised.

"No. I wished that dad would take me fishing." Richie mumbled sadly, a tiny hint of humor in his voice, and Eddie knew that tone. It was the tone people used when they really wanted something to happen but they knew it never would.

Eddie didn't know what to say, and silence took over the two boys as Richie continued to scan the sky as Eddie stared at the woodchips. He thought he had it bad, constantly worrying about his illnesses and his weight and his looks, but Richie spent his days wishing he was good enough for his family.

Eddie didn't wonder why Richie always made smart comments anymore, and he didn't wonder why he always seemed to need to be the center of attention. He realized that the losers were the family Richie never had. And Richie sympathized with Eddie, understanding why he always wore complimenting clothes and tried to pretend he didn't have any illnesses. He knew why Eddie was like that.

That was where the two were similar. Two teen boys, with self confidence issues and shitty parents.

Eddie wished he didn't have to leave his mom sometimes. No matter what horrible things she did to him, he still loved her. She was still there for him before anyone else, even if her idea of being there was basically suffocating her young son. "Mom ruined me, Richie."

Richie looked down from the sky, wide eyes landing on Eddie's small frame. "What?"

"I never really talk about it, but she really ruined me. I don't go a single day without thinking about germs and gettting sick. I can't go two days without wanting  to weigh myself like she used to make me do. She made me this way, and now I don't think I'll ever be normal. No matter how hard I try." Eddie ranted to the older boy, eyes not lifting off the ground.

"But you are normal. You're normal in your own way, you're Eddie Kaspbrak normal, and I love that. She hasn't ruined you, either. You're you, and if you want to change, you just have to keep trying. I'll be here to help you." Eddie loved when Richie spoke to him like that, all soft words, void of bad jokes and full of nothing but love.

"I love you." Eddie looked over again, smiling softly. Richie smiked back, repeating the words before he looked back uo at the sky.

"Eds, wanna make a wish on that shooting star?" Richie pointed up at the moving dot in the sky, making the smile on Eddie's face widen.

"Sure." He spoke, looking up at it himself. "You make one too."

_I wish everything gets better for Richie. He deserves the world._

_I wish that Eds' life gets cleared up, he deserves so much more than what he's getting._

"What'd you wish for, Eds?" Richie asked, looking back at the small boy.

"If I tell you, it won't come true. It's a secret. " He smiled, grabbing Richie's hand and squeezing it tight.

"I wished for Stan's mom to call me back." Richie chuckled. Eddie shook his head with a smile, shivering slightly as the wind picked up. "Let's head home, we need to sleep. "

Eddie nodded, getting up with Richie and walking back to the house with him. The lights were on, but no more shouts could be heard, and for once, Richie was happy with silence.

Silence wasn't always too bad, and neither was the noise.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This needed to happen

News casters on the old TV in Richie's room were usually boring, rambling about students who'd gone out of their way to help someone, news on a nation wide station, like the AIDs epidemic, or local things. It never interested either of the boys, but on Saturday mornings, Mr.Tozier would stay at home in the morning to watch the news on the opposite side of the couch as Mrs.Tozier.

IT became routine,Richie and Eddie eating their breakfast in the small kitchen, the sound of the news reporter's monotone voice drifting into the room from the lounge. Eddie didn't mind too much, he rather enjoyed knowing about what was happening around him. He didn't like surprises at all.

IT was no different the day Richie woke up before Eddie, slipping out of the bed to make food for them and bring it up to him instead of eating downstairs. His plans were soiled as Eddie poked his head into the room, looking at Richie. "What are you doing?"

"I was going to make you breakfast in bed, but someone decided to wake up a bit too early." Richie faked annoyance, chuckling slightly at the end as he finished making the food, bringing it to the table. They could already hear the news playing in the room next to the kitchen, and Richie grumbled something about the man's bored tone.

"Sorry, Richie, I wouldn't have come out if I knew you were trying to be nice for once." Eddie jokes back at him, sitting down at the table and starting to eat. Richie shook his head, doing the same. The boy's main focus became the food, both scarfing it down as the older Tozier's listened the news. Eddie let the man's words process in his mind every now and then, but mainly left his thoughts at their starting point - Richie. He wouldn't ever admit how much he thought of the older boy, who's trash mouth was louder than a train's horn, but he didn't go one hour without the name popping up in his head.

"However, this morning the body of Sonia Kaspbrak was found in her home. IT appears to be a murder, and officials say they have not caught the culprit. If you have any information as to who they might be, contact authorities immediately. "

But the reporter's words definitely processed in his mind when he herd the familiar name from the slightly less monotoned man. Eddie's wide eyes fell on the food in front of him, a strong sick feeling filling him. He let the fork in his hand drop against the table, clattering against the wood.

Richie wasn't sure if he'd ever looked up so fast, not caring about the fallen silverware, but the boy who's wide eyes seemed to fill with tears in a millisecond. He dropped his own fork when he realized what it was, the man's voice filling them in with the information. "Eddie, oh, fuck." Richie got up, going to Eddie and pulling him into a tight hug, rubbing his back gently.

The sobs that tumbled from Eddie's trembling lips were loud, heartbreaking as he cried into Richie's shoulder, grabbing weakly at his shirt and squeezing his eyes shut tightly. His parents were dead.

It didn't matter to him that his mother had treated him horribly and had hit him, because he still loved her, and now she was gone.

They stayed like that for a long time, Eddie crying against Richie as the other boy held him tight, rocking him back and forth gently to calm him down. It obviously didn't work well if the sharp intakes of breath were anything to go by, but that didn't stop Richie from doing it anyway. He felt bad for not knowing a better way to help as his boyfriend cried his heart out, the only thing he could do was hold him.

There could've been better places to have a mental breakdown than on the kitchen floor, but in the moment, Eddie wasn't worried about what floor he was crying on. The news droned on about the details as to where and how Sonia was found. Eddie cried louder, hoping   
the sound of his own sobs would drown out the sound of a careless news reporter.

Richie's arms seemed to be permanently wrapped around Eddie's sobbing frame as the two stayed there for what seemed like hours, until the sobs resided to sniffles. "Eds..."

"I-I just wanna g-go to sleep." He mumbled sadly, remnants of sobs in his voice as he sniffled. The small boy was left with a red tipped nose and bloodshot, tired eyes as he clung to Richie, sniffling as the moment's breakdown seemed to fade away, but not taking the sadness with it.

"Alright, Eds, let's get some sleep." Richie kissed his forehead, lifting him up and carrying him to his room.

The door shut behind them, and the news continued to play.

"As well as further news with the Kaspbrak's name, Frank Kaspbrak has escaped police custody, and is currently on the run. If you have any idea as to where he might be going, Please inform the police."

 


	11. Chapter 11

  
"I really want a shooting star right now, Richie." Eddie mumbled sadly as he stared up at the dark sky. The stars twinkled delightfully in the sky, unmoving as the two silently looked at the constellations. 

"What would you wish for, Eds?" Richie tore his gaze from the stars to look at the small boy, laying in the grass on his back. Eddie kept his eyes on the stars, trying to avoid crying again. 

"I'd wish that I could breathe normal again, Richie." He muttered, continuing to look at the sky, "I'd wish I wasn't so sad." 

"Eds, it's okay to be sad." Richie said softly, moving his hand to rest on top of Eddie's. Eddie looked over, tears in his eyes. "Soon everything is going to clear up and it's gonna be okay for you and I, and we'll be happy again. I promise you." 

Eddie blinked slowly before nodding, moving over a little to lean his head against Richie's shoulder. He  closed his eyes, swallowing thickly. "I want to go to sleep but I don't want to at the same time. " 

Richie moved them ever so slightly so they were cuddled together, still in the grass as Eddie clung to his shirt. His fists curled around the material, gripping it tightly as if it was a life line. "I love you." 

"I love you too." The words exchanged held so much emotion, and it was all Eddie needed to feel slightly better in that moment. His mother was gone, and his father was a dick, but he had Richie and the Toziers, even if they didn't pay any attention to the two boys and scared them half to death. The moment could be savored, Eddie was sure he could live on forever just wrapped in Richie's arms, hearing those three words over and over. 

His mind wasn't settled on his mother's recent demise, despite how heartbroken he felt, ditching the thought in favor of Richie. Richie and his light freckles and dark, black, curly mop of hair that settled restlessly on his head. Richie and his thick glasses that didn't change in size no matter what lens he chose. Richie and his secret talent in the kitchen, able to conjure up full meals out of what seemed like three ingredients.

Eddie was so thankful for Richie and the Toziers, considering they'd let Eddie into their home and paid for what he needed. He couldn't express how thankful he was, and he just felt like a drag as he cried his way through each day, moping over the loss of his abusive mother.

Because no matter how horrible she'd been to him, she was still his mom, and she still meant so much to him, but none of that mattered now, and he knew it. He knew there wouldn't be anymore hateful comments about his weight, or anymore forced pills to cure his gayness, but he also knew there wouldn't be a woman waiting to hug him when he got home, or a woman who'd make sure he got everything he needed when he was sick or a woman who'd make sure he took all his daily pills.

No, he didn't have that anymore, but he had something better. He had Richie, his boyfriend, who loved him and treated him right, who still went out of his way to make sure Eddie was okay, and he loved that. He loved the goofball side of Richie just as much as he loved the caring side that not many people saw. He loved Richie.

Richie obviously felt the same, utterly head over heals for the small boy who's brown hair danced delicately across his forehead. Who's smile could light up the room, and hell, it could probably blind the sun.  Who's small hands always found their way right where Richie wanted them, holding him just as tightly as he did. Richie loved everything about the boy.

He especially loved that when Eddie fell asleep in his arms in a place that wasn't their bed, he could pick him up and carry him to heir room, and Eddie wouldn't mention it the next morning. It became routine, the two cuddling up somewhere and Eddie falling asleep, and part of Richie wondered if he was doing it on purpose just so he'd get carried to bed, but he didn't mind at all, because he loved it. 

And it was no different as Eddie fell asleep, cuddled up next to him in the grass as the stars in the night sky shone brightly above them, the bright moonlight illuminating Eddie's face enough for Richie to see the freckles that rested gently there, and he decided that Eddie's face was an awful lot like the sky. Gentle freckles like stars, littered aimlessly and beautifully across his face. A smile bright like the sun, and moonlit eyes. 

Eddie's face was the only sky Richie ever wanted to see again.

 


	12. Chapter 12

The feeling that built up in his chest when he watched the news for the first time was foreign. Like the way it felt a few moments before heartbreaking sobs would eventually escape his lips, moments before tears would cascade down his lightly freckled cheeks. But the tears never fell, nor did they well up in his eyes. His chest heaved slightly, lungs constricting in his body as he stared ahead at the TV screen. Frank Kaspbrak's body was blurred out, but the words that ran across the bottom of the screen spoke enough for Eddie to know what happened. Three AM news shows weren't meant to display breaking news stories, but Derry seemed different. 

If Eddie wanted, he could've easily cried in that moment and ran back to his room, cuddled up to Richie and cried into his chest, but instead he stayed seated on the couch. His hands shook, eyes still staring at the screen, but he didn't feel much sadness at the news, but worry. 

The news about his recently deceased father got down to his anxiety bone, making the feeling skyrocket as he thought about all the possibilities as to why his parents had both been brutally murdered. 

He wanted to believe that it was just a coincidence, like they both just so happened to be murdered around the same time, despite their last names. Maybe it was a serial killer, a man or woman just determined to end as many lives as they could get away with. 

But the final thought that crossed his mind seemed more difficult to believe than any of the others, even though it was the one Eddie leaned towards. It was as if something happened that would make him feel like this, like he just couldn't remember something important from his past that played a large role in what was happening. 

He chose to stay oblivious, however, lifting himself from the couch and trudging to his shared room with the older boy. His mind felt clouded as he rested down into the bed, cuddling himself against Richie's sleeping form. He smiled softly when he looked up at Richie's sleeping face, his freckles much darker that Eddie's, more prominent against his pale skin. His lips parted, soft snores escaping them as his closed eyes fluttered slightly. He closed his eyes too, desperate for sleep to take over, but for the first time, he couldn't find peace in sleep while laying with Richie. 

-

The next night was familiar as the two boys made their way to the park down the road, Richie not wanting to hear his parent's excessive arguing as Eddie just stayed under the blankets, trying to avoid the sounds of fighting. His hand curled around Eddie's, gripping it tightly as he lead the small boy to the swings, a common occurrence between the two. Eddie let him, sitting in the same swing he usually did as Richie did the same, and he couldn't decide if it was a good moment or a sad one as Richie started to talk about his parents. 

"I'm really sorry, Eds. I know we got you away from your family issues, but I just feel like I've dragged you into my family's." He said softly, and Eddie grabbed his hand again, assuring him that he didn't mind. They stayed that way again, no more words exchanged as the held hands and swung quietly, surrounded by the darkness and cool air. 

And Eddie didn't mind that he still felt the feeling like tears were meant to fall, because he was happy staying next to Richie on the swings. He could stay that way forever. 


	13. Chapter 13

Waking up alone wasn't something Eddie expected, his eyes bloodshot, dark circles hanging below them as he sat up in the empty bed. The smallest detail that Richie's side of the bed was cold made his heart break as he looked around for a sign of the older teen.

"Richie?" He asked nothing, looking around. The room was void of all life but his own, and he shivered slightly. The door was closed, it was almost as if Richie had never left the room, considering he always left the door open in the morning if he got up before Eddie. He sighed sadly, pushed back the blankets and standing, his bare feet brushing against the cool floors of Richie's room.

He ran a hand through his wild hair as if that would tame the mane, swallowing thickly as he shuffled out of the room.

The hallway was just as void of Richie as the room was, the lights off as eerie darkness seemed to settle gently between the walls. He shivered again, wondering if the heating system was even turned on. The cold, hardwood floors creaked under his tentative steps, making him jump. He didn't hear the news, or the sound of Richie's parents. On any other day, he would've thought he went deaf at the lack of sounds, but the creaking of the floorboards seemed to prove differently.

"Richie?" He called a little louder, wrapping his skinny arms around himself as he wandered down the hall and towards the kitchen. There was no response, the eerie darkness being joined with eerie silence. His frowned deepened, the house seemed empty. "Richie, please, this isn't funny."

The boy was met with silence again, making him bite down on his lower lip. The kitchen was just as empty as the rest of the house, no sounds or movements. There was nothing, and the thought of that alone made Eddie shiver once more.

The lights were off in the house, the red, blinking clock on the counter read 10:47 AM. 10:47 AM.

He wanted to run back to Richie's room and get dressed and make himself go to school, even if he was late. He shook his head, deciding that Richie must've gone to school and the Tozier's were at work or something, but he couldn't help the cryptic thoughts of the fact that Mrs.Tozier didn't have a job, and Richie wouldn't have left him alone.

He sighed, grabbing himself a bottle of water from the fridge and sitting down at the kitchen table. All the shades were pulled down, another tiny detail that made him want to leave.

Everything about the Tozier's home at the moment made Eddie want to run out and never look back. The darkness, the lack of noise and life, and hell, the lack of Richie made it downright horrifying to be there. The only sound was the crinkle of the plastic bottle in his hands, and the gentle tap of his fingers drumming against the table.

He wondered if the doors were locked as he stood, wandering towards the living room and siting hesitantly on the couch. He avoided looking down the hallway that lead to the basement door, as childish as it sounded, but going near the basement in an empty house would make anyone shiver.

The TV refused to turn on as he pressed down on the button, feverishly trying again to get the box to flare up in color. He frowned deeply, the light not turning on. "Shit." He mumbled, putting the remote carefully down on the table.  

The house remained silent for what seemed like hours until the first noise that wasn't something Eddie had done echoed through the house. It made him jump, almost knocking the bottle of water off the coffee table as he jerked his head up to look for the source of the sound. 

It took him an embarrassingly long time to figure out what the sound was, a sound that he was familiar with. One that shouldn't scare him as much as it did. It was just the sound of a shutting door, but the thought of it terrified him.

He looked around the living room, gripping the remote tightly in his hand as he pulled his feet up onto the couch as if that would save him. He felt himself shake with nerves, his grip on the remote turning his knuckles white. 

If the door wasn't enough for him to nearly cry, the footsteps definitely were, the soft pattering of feet against the hardwood floors moving quickly. He froze up, feel fear overwhelm him.

The once soft footsteps grew hard, pounding against the floor as they neared the living room. He squeezed his eyes shut as he held the remote like it would save him from whatever it was that grew closer to him. He could hear the heavy breaths that sounded familiar, but at the same time nothing like he'd heard before.

He hesitantly opened his eyes a bit, peaking up to see the dark figure in the hallway, staring at him with yellow eyes. He froze again, knowing the remote in his grip would help him little to none in a fight against the large figure. 

 

He closed his eyes again tightly, wishing on every shooting star he could imagine in his mind that it was gone. He felt the heavy breathing get close to him, the damp air against his neck. 

 

The breathing was still there when he opened his eyes and saw nothing.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HAHA OOPS 
> 
> This was meant to be in the last part of the last chapter (which was just his dream) but my piece of shit phone didnt put it in.

Eddie's eyes snapped open as he shot up in the bed, a sound close to a scream leaving his lips. He scrambled around the bed desperately, falling off the edge as he felt his lungs constrict in his chest. His eyes blown wide as he scanned over the room, landing in Richie's figure sitting up in the bed. "Eddie? What's wrong?"

Eddie gasped for air as he stared up at Richie, eyes still wide as if he'd disappear if he closed them. Richie grabbed the inhaler that sat on the bedside table, getting down next to Eddie and gently pressing it to his lips. "Eds, you gotta breathe for me."

Eddie let the medicine fill his lungs, his eyes slipping shut at the feeling of the cool air that tasted vaguely of menthols filled his mouth. He swallowed thickly when Richie pulled the piece away from his mouth, looking up at him with teary eyes. "Oh, Eddie." Richie carefully wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, pulling him closer. "What happened?"

"Bad dream. The whole house was empty and you were gone and there was something in the hallway and it was breathing down my neck but it wasn't really there-" Eddie cut himself off, shivering at the memory. He probably sounded insane to the taller boy, who held him nonetheless.

"It was just a dream, Eds, I'm here and I'm not gonna leave you alone."  Richie soothed, rubbing his back gently as he nodded, leaning against the older male. Richie lifted him up carefully, putting him back on the bed and cuddling next to him, his arms secure around Eddie.

Eddie wanted to forget about it, but he couldn't shake the familiarity of the yellow eyes that glared at him in the hallway. 


	15. Chapter 15

Mrs. Tozier took pride in having a clean house.

It wasn't like she did the cleaning, no, that was solely the young boys that seemed to hide away in their room as she made herself comfortable in the living room, a pack of smokes and a bottle of Jack resting easily beside her as she casually took swigs of the drink and drags of the cigs. Her friends would agree that she did an awfully nice job of keeping house, and her drunken smile would widen. "Of course, I gotta keep up after those boys."

And they would laugh, because if they were friends with Mrs. Tozier, they were most likely drunk as well as they sat on the couch in the family room. Five of them, all in one room, bottles of god knows what being passed about their small group. It didn't happen often, but when it did, it made the last Kaspbrak alive feel sick to his stomach.

Richie wasn't much different, the fear that once his mother's friends left she'd grow angry was boiling in his stomach, a hot soup of nerves. He held Eddie's hand tightly as the younger boy did homework from several days ago. "When do you think they'll leave?" He asked.

Eddie shrugged slightly, putting down the pencil, and placing his hand in Richie's nervously bouncing leg. "Calm down, Richie, it's gonna be okay."

Richie looked up and nodded, kissing Eddie's forehead and ceasing his leg bouncing antics. "What if it's not?"

"It will be." Eddie smiled weakly. He hadn't noticed until recently how much Richie seemed less and less like, well, less like Richie. He didn't crack the mom jokes that Eddie constantly expected, actually telling Eddie how he felt. He wasn't sure if he liked it or not.

It was a side of Richie he didn't know about until they started dating. He wondered if Richie had ever showed anyone else this side, the side with the caring boy who didn't constantly joke about fucking 40 year olds. He expressed his fear of his parents in a way that was anything but low key, hell, he'd probably straight up say to Eddie "I'm scared of my parents." at this point and it would do little to surprise the small teen.

"Richie, are you okay other than that?" He asked softly, moving himself so he was facing the older boy. Richie looked slightly panicked, but nodded.

 

"Sure am, Eds." He cracked a smile, and Eddie smiled too, but it wasn't convincing. Richie pulled him close, hugging him and letting his   
head rest on top of Eddie's. 

 

"You know you can tell me anything. " Eddie mumbled softly. Richie knew if he didn't have Eddie in his arms in that moment, he'd be staring at the constellations of freckles on his cheeks. He'd be gazing at the younger boy's face just as he'd gazed at the sky for the past few nights. 

 

"I know, Spaghetti." Richie said softly, and he knew the short moment of happiness he shared with Eddie wouldn't last long. "I know."

Heavy footsteps slammed their way through the hallway, the sound eerily familiar to the shorter boy as the two quickly separated, looking expectantly at the door. He could hear the sound of liquid splashing about in a glass bottle,  getting closer and closer.

He wished, for once, that the house was void of life again like in his dream. He wished it was just Richie and himself, sharing the bed in the large home. He wished it was just them, cuddled up to keep warm.

But it wasn't, and the reminder was painful as Mrs. Tozier slammed open the door to their room, standing menacingly in the hall as her bottle hung from it's neck in her hand. "Richard, I thought I told you to wash the fuckin' dishes." Her face contorted in anger, grip tightening on the bottle.

Richie stood quickly, nodding at her before rushing out of the room and down the hall towards the kitchen. Eddie but down on his lip as Mrs.Tozier remained in the doorway, taking one final swig from the bottle before letting it slip from her hand.

The glass shattered on the floor, splaying in tiny shards around the room. "Oops." She mumbled carelessly, glancing up at Eddie, "Clean this, Edward."

Eddie nodded, just as Richie had done, and stood, going to the corner of their room to retrieve the dust pan and broom. His hands shook as he gripped onto the wooden handle like a lifeline.

Mrs.Tozier made eye contact with the short teen, scowling hard and turning, leaving the area. A breath of relief escaped his lips as he watched her go, stepping forward towards the mess. He felt tiny shards cut into the soles of his feet, wincing as he swept the glass into a pile on the floor. He ignored the pain in his feet, sweeping quickly. His hands continued to shake, teeth clamped down on his lower lip as he heard the tap running downstairs.

The pile on the floor grew bigger, just like his fear of the female Tozier. He wondered if Richie was right when he said the whole family would protect him, even if she was drunk  or his dad was out. Maybe Richie was just saying that to make him feel better in the moment, but he didn't feel very protected as the glass he was being forced to clean dug painfully into his bare feet. 

He swept the pieces carefully into the pan, making sure the glass was off the ground and putting it down by the desk. Eddie carefully stepped his way to the bed, sitting and instantly pulling his feet up. 

Richie didn't knock as he entered the room, face holding an emotion that Eddie couldn't quite read. "What happened? I heard glass shattering.." Richie mumbled before looking down and seeing Eddie's bloodied feet. "Fuck, Eds." 

He rushed over to the small boy, getting onto his knees in front of him. "How did this happen?" He frowned deeply, inspecting the wounds on his feet. Eddie sighed and told him, His hands shaking as he felt the pain of Richie pulling out one of the shards almost experimentally. "I'll be right back." 

The tall teen left the room, coming back with a pair of tweezers, disinfectant, gauze wrappers, and a small cup. Eddie's face visibly paled, making Richie frown deeply. "It's gonna be okay, Eddie, after this we can relax, alright?" 

Eddie nodded a bit. "I hate this so much, Richie." He mumbled as Richie got down again. He bit down on his lip tightly as Richie pulled another piece out of his foot, followed by a small, muttered apology. 

It went on like that until all the glass was out of his feet and tears had made steady tracks on his cheeks. He felt Richie put the wrapping around his feet, still mumbling out apologies when Eddie let out audible winces. 

Richie got up, carefully getting into the bed next to Eddie and wrapping his arms around him, cuddling him close. "I'm so sorry I let this happen." 

"You didn't let anything happen, Richie. This isn't your fault, it's just a few cuts anyway." Eddie mumbled, resting his head gently on Richie's chest. "I'm alright." 

"But it could've been worse." He mumbled, and Eddie frowned deeply. 

"But it wasn't. Let's just go to sleep, okay? We're both tired." Eddie said softly, getting more comfortable in the bed. Richie nodded, reaching over and turning off the light, closing his eyes. "Goodnight, Eddie, I love you." 

"I love you too, Rich." 

And Richie could live with those three words forever. As long as Eddie was the one that said them.

 


	16. Chapter 16

  
It didn't seem like it'd been that long since the younger teen had lost both his parents, but it proved to be when the school called and informed Mrs.Tozier that the two boys needed to come back in order to pass the year.

Eddie didn't mind school as much anymore, seeing as Frank wasn't a problem, but the students were a different story. He hated their judgemental eyes, and he knew the looks would only grow more intense after the news about the deaths of both elder Kaspbraks. He sighed to himself, holding onto Richie's hand a little tighter and walking with hi to the large building.

He wasn't wrong, because as much  as he tried to avoid it, nothing he did would pry the other student's eyes off him. He shivered and moved closer to Richie. "I hate this, Richie." he mumbled, looking down.

"I know, Eds, it's okay." Richie smiled down at him weakly. He felt anxiety flare through him as he walked with Richie into his first period class. "I'll see you in gym, okay? You know all my classes if you need me." He said softly, giving Eddie's hand a slight squeeze.

He nodded softly, going into his class and sitting in the back. His leg bounced nervously as he waited for the teacher to call the attention of the students so he could finally feel free from the eyes on him. He shivered, biting down on his lip as he waited.

The day went on like that, Eddie waiting for the teacher to take over class. He winced when he entered the Global room, and he was sure the hands were back around his neck, squeezing until his face turned blue. Squeezing and squeezing and his bouncing leg was joined by his other leg now, biting down on his nails as he recalled the memory.

He could've sworn his back was pressed against that wall again, and his feet were dangling above the ground and the hands kept squeezing and squeezing at his neck like a stress ball, but he was in his seat in the back of the class, getting salty tears on his angle reflecting papers.

He clenched his fists, wiping furiously at his eyes as if that would make the horrible memories go away. But even in death, his father still made him horrified to enter the room.

He was dead. He was dead and he wasn't coming back to hurt Eddie. He was dead and so was Sonia, they weren't coming back to fuck with him. They were dead. Dead.

Eddie let out an involuntary sob, standing up and rushing out of the classroom, hand over his mouth as he opened the door and flooded out into the hallway. _They were dead._

He walked faster than he ever had before to the small bathroom down the hall, checking the stalls for people before locking the main door behind him. He took a few steps away from the door, staring at it. He continued to shake, his hands still clenched by his sides as the only thought in his head continued to shout at him. 

_They're dead and they're never coming back. They won't come back, and you'll never get the chance to have parents that were nice to you._

The only people that were meant to always be there for him no matter what were dead, and it didn't settle in him that he'd never see Sonia again until now. He'd never see her when he was sick and needed someone to look after him, he'd never see her after his first day of school, ready to pick him up and take him home. 

He would never see his mother again. He wasn't sure if that bothered him the most, or if it bothered him that he'd never see his father again either.

The kid wanted to say he didn't feel anything when his father died. The same man who was never ever in his life, the same man who's hands closed around his throat and squeezed. Squeezed and squeezed. 

He'd never felt more useless when he sat there, taking what his father said to him and doing nothing about it. He'd never felt so worthless when Frank dropped him and left him, bluefaced on the cool, while linoleum floors of the Global classroom. 

His father was nothing to him, but he still cried when he found out about his death. 

Maybe it was the fear that the Kaspbrak Killer would target him next, or maybe he was just upset about his mother, but he cried.

The sound of the final bell ringing made him open his eyes again, the floor of the bathroom similar to the floor of the Global class. He wiped his eyes with shaking hands and stood.

One look in the low-quality mirrors was plenty enough for him, patting down his curly, messy hair that he'd probably ran his hand through way too many times in one day and wiping his cheeks with the sleeves of his sweater. 

He could hear students trying to open the door, only to find it locked and chuckled to himself. He tugged his sleeves down a bit more, enough to cover the tips of his fingers, and walked out of the bathroom. 

His feet carried him back to the room, where he stood by the door until the substitute noticed him. "Could you grab my stuff for me, please?" He asked in a quiet voice, not wanting to enter the classroom. He wished Richie was there, but he understood that sometimes his teacher held him back for stuff. The female nodded and retrieved his stuff, handing it to him. 

"You have a good night, dear." She smiled softly, "I hope you're alright." 

He nodded slightly, "How long are you gonna fill in for this class?" He asked, knowing if he wasn't there when Richie came, Richie would get worried, so he'd wait until he came. 

"I'm not sure, but hopefully for a while. There's an awful nice group of kids this year." She kept the smile on her face, making Eddie smile softly too. 

"I'm sorry about rushing out of class." He said softly, looking down, but her smile didn't falter. 

"It's quite alright, Eddie, don't worry about that." She said. Richie came running down the hall, a grin on his face and two Twix bars in hand. 

"Eds! Look what Miller got us!" He shouted, skidding to a top by the shorter teen. He handed one over to Eddie, who took it with a smile. 

"Thank you, Miss, I'll see you tomorrow." He smiled over at her, and she smiled back, waving. 

"You two have a good day!" She said as Eddie waved and they walked away. He unwrapped the twix, snapping it and half and biting it. 

"Tell Miller I said thanks." He smiled up at Richie, who was happily chewing his own candy. 

"Already done, Eddie Spaghetti." He grinned. 

And Eddie didn't feel the need to tell Richie about his breakdown. He must've just been anxious. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ive lost all motivation to write and to live.

 

"My dear Eddie Spaghetti, I believe that we are both in dire need of a date!" Richie exclaimed in a loud, proud voice. He watched as Eddie sat up from the bed tiredly, rubbing his eyes.

"What?" Eddie mumbled, hardly awake as Richie stood, fully dressed, by the bed. Richie repeated his words, just with a little bid more pride in his voice as he held his hand out for Eddie to take. Eddie happily did, crawling off the bed and standing on sleepy feet. "Where?"

"That is a good question." Richie deflated a little, but quickly changed his tone. "Completely out of Derry, Maine, my good sir!"

Eddie's eyes widened as he stared at Richie. "Where are we going that's not in Derry, Rich?"

"Portland!" He smiled wide, watching as Eddie's face lit up.

"Are you serious?" He asked, eyes wide and a smile playing on his lips. Richie nodded fast. Eddie hugged him tightly, pressing his face against Richie's chest. "Thank you so much, Richie!"

Richie smiled and hugged him back, kissing the top of his head. "Mom said she'll drive us. She's sober for once." He said gently, smiling against Eddie's curly hair.

The two got ready rather fast, both excited for their short trip out of Derry. Eddie quickly styled his hair, and looked over at Richie, who was tapping his foot as he hummed softly, brushing his teeth. Eddie smiled wide, leaning over and kissing his cheek before slipping out of the bathroom behind him.

Richie's smile only grew for the day as he came out, his hair still a wild mane of curls, and Eddie was waiting for him with a smile too.

And even though long car trips were not Richie the hyperactive teen's strong points, he could still somewhat enjoy the time in the car with Eddie by his side, somehow keeping him entertained as his mom drove the car farther and farther from their shitty hometown.

"I'm so excited, Eds!" Richie grinned, looking out the window of the car when they drove past the large 'Welcome to Portland!' sign. "This is going to be so much fun!"

Eddie smiled and agreed with him, waiting for Mrs.Tozier to find a parking spot. They got out of the car, stretching quickly. "Okay, boys. You know to meet me back here at 9:30. You can mess around all day, just stay safe and stay together." She smiled and the two nodded.

Once the two made it significantly far from her, Richie grabbed Eddie's hand, intertwining their fingers and swinging them gently. "Where to, Eds?"

Eddie shrugged, looking around at all the shops around them. "Don't worry about money, either. I've got most of my savings, plus mom gave us a ton, and she left me with her extra card for food."

Eddie only smiled and shook his head. "Wherever you want to go is alright, Richie." He smiled, and for hours the two wet in and out of random shops that they found interesting, wandering happily around the foreign town.

"It's so fun here." Eddie said, smiling wide as he took a bite of his lunch. Richie smiled too, nodding in agreement.

"If we don't end up moving to California, how about we go here?" Richie asked, the smile still on his face.

"Sounds like a plan." Eddie grinned wide, finishing up his food and sitting back. Richie chuckled, continuing to eat.

The day continued on, the boys having the time of their lives as they messed around, smiled spread wide on their faces. "This is the most fun I've had in so long, Richie. Thank you so much."

"Anything for you, Eds!" He grinned wide, wrapping his arm around Eddie's waist as they walked down the street. The two were to ecstatic to pay mind to the disgusted glares of people on the street, or the homophobic comments being tossed their way as they proudly walked with each other.

Richie wished it could stay this way forever, a smile on Eddie's face and no nasty thoughts allowed into his mind as they had fun and lived their lives. Richie could be wholly satisfied if it stayed this way.

"I love you, Eddie." He said, the smile still on his face as the night slowed down after dinner, and after the sun had set gently in the horizon. "We have another two hours, let's go on the beach."

The smile on Eddie's face widened as the two made their way to the beach, sitting down in the sand. "It's really amazing here." Eddie mumbled, burying his toes in the chilled sand as they watched the waves gently lap at the shores, white sea-foam smearing across the wet sand.

"Anything that's not Derry is." Richie said humorously, making Eddie chuckle. "Think it'd be like this everywhere? Like, calming and beautiful and fun?"

"Probably." Eddie smiled softly as seashells poked out from the sand, making bumps in the waves as they slid up the sand, growing higher and higher on the shore. "I wish we could leave there."

"Soon enough, Eds." Richie said softly, the blue light from the lack of sun surrounding them as they watched the waves continue to swallow the sand.

"It'll never be soon enough." Eddie smiled, leaning against Richie as they stayed there, relaxing in the sand until the water almost reached the tips of their shoes.

"We better get back before mom has a bird." Richie said, getting up and helping Eddie to his feet. They wiped their asses clear of sand, wandering back to Mrs.Tozier's car and waiting for her patiently.

She arrived not long after, a smile on her face, and Richie wondered if his mother always looked like this. If she was always so - fucking pretty of a woman. Her long black curls fell across her shoulders, freckles dotting her cheeks under her light green eyes. Maybe she was only beautiful sober, not covered in Jack Daniels and no bags under her eyes.

Eddie, however, couldn't help but notice how much Richie looked like his parents. He got Maggie's black curly hair, her freckles, and her sharp jawline, while he had his father's big wide eyes and light red lips. He didn't mind where the features came from, because put together, they made up Richie, and that was all that mattered.

Those features put together Richie, who handed his jacket to the smaller teen as the ocean breeze got a bit too cold for him. "Richie, we're getting in the car, I'll be alright."

"You're shivering." He insisted, jabbing the jacket closer to him. He hesitantly took it, putting it on and letting the fabric warm him again.

They sat in the back on the car again, Eddie resting his head on Richie's shoulder as he felt tired. Richie smiled, letting it happen. His eyes slipped shut as he fell asleep, completely content next to his boyfriend in Maggie's car.

They'd be happy if the moment never ended.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is ending soon.

Maggie wanted to stay in bed the next morning, but her blaring alarm clock reminded her too much of the thoughts about her son's distressed friend's cries and his words. She pulled herself to her feet, making her way to the kitchen and starting to make breakfast for them.

She was vaguely aware of Wentworth's words that he was leaving for work, dismissing him with a swift "Goodbye, honey" and turning back to the stove.

Maggie tried to ignore the alcohol that called her name, the half full bottle of Evan William's whiskey on the counter that taunted her as it seemed to sway in the glass bottle. She averted her eyes away from the tinted glass, paying attention to the bright yellow eggs in the pan. Bright yellow eyes, bright yellow eggs, warming whiskey- NO, Bright yellow eggs!

She scolded herself for her thoughts, finishing the boys' breakfast and setting it on the table before going to their room and knocking gently on the door. "Boys, I made breakfast. It's out on the counter." She called gently, hearing Richie's response before tuning and going back to the kitchen.

She stared down the bottle with cool green eyes. She grabbed the glass neck, fingers relaxing around the cool surface as she made her way to the backdoor where the garbage cans laid against the side of the home. She glanced at it with her icy gaze and shoved it into the can, covering it with the lid as if it'd shoot back out at her.

Maggie stared at it for a few moments, taking hesitant steps back towards the house before turning and rushing inside. She swallowed thickly, feeling her whole being urge her to turn and go back to retrieve the Evan. She shook her head and closed the door, going back to the kitchen to find the two boys eating their food. She smiled to herself, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.

"So, boys, how's school going?" She asked as she uncapped it, taking a long drink as if she hadn't had a sip of water in years. They looked up at her, like deer in headlights and it finally settled upon Maggie's shoulders how horrible she'd been to them.

"It's good, Mrs.Tozier." Eddie responded, averting his eyes to the table and she smiled warmly. "That's good to hear, Eddie. You can call me Maggie, don't worry about that."

Richie almost laughed at this, overjoyed. His mom was just like the old mom he used to know. Nice and funny, just like him. "It's good for me too, mom." He smiled when she grinned at him.

"I expect nothing else from smart ass Richie. Smart is in the title for a reason." She joked, and the two boys broke out in laughter. Richie smiled wide, and Eddie felt safe for once in the same room as Maggie.

"Mom, can we go to the Aladdin today?" Richie asked her after they'd finished eating and making small talk. Maggie nodded with a smile, grabbing her purse and giving some money to the teen. Richie smiled thankfully and hugged her. "Thanks, mom."

Richie and Eddie made their way to the theater, and as easy as the morning was, the threat of It still hanging over their heads.

The movie was good, it was fucking great, but neither of them could bring themselves to be overly happy as they went to their special playground for the first time in the daylight. Richie stared down the swing set before sitting carefully, biting down on his lip and Eddie did the same.

"I'm so fucking scared." Eddie mumbled, hands shaking even between his knees. Richie swallowed thickly and nodded.

"Me too, Eds." He said quietly. He wished more than anything that he could be fucking sting and protect his boyfriend, but his fear outweighed his bravery.

Richie knew his fear would almost always outweigh his bravery, the slightest bit that he had. Richie sighed, grabbing one of Eddie's shaking hands and holding it tightly.

Eddie's own fear practically radiated off him. His emotions always did. Richie usually loved that, but he didn't when the only emotion was fear as his boyfriend's hand shook in his grasp.

"I don't want to die, Richie." Eddie mumbled, eyes watering as they shifted towards him. Richie's heart almost broke at the words that slipped past Eddie's chapped lips.

"We won't, Eddie, I promise." Richie said, but Eddie shook his head.

"Richie, this thing has almost done it how many times? We can't beat It, and we can't leave, so the only thing we can do it let it kill us." Eddie said, words not wavering even slightly as he almost started crying again. Richie shook his head, looking almost angry.

"It's not going to kill us, Eddie!" He exclaimed, shaking his head again. Eddie looked back down at the woodchips.

He kept his mouth shut for several minutes, and to the teens, it felt like hours as tension settled around them. "Richie, please..." He started, voice breaking, "Don't lie to me."

Richie felt his heart break for good this time, looking over at the teary-eyed boy on the swing next to him. He wanted to say that he wasn't lying to him, and he truly believed that he wasn't going to die and they'd be okay, but he couldn't. He felt frozen, watching Eddie break down in the middle of the day.

Eddie lifted his hands to his face, wiping weakly at his eyes to rid them of the tears. "Let's just- Can we just go home?" He asked, sounding tired. Richie nodded, standing and holding out his hand. Eddie took it, expecting Richie to let go once he was on his feet, but instead Richie held it tighter.

"I love you, Eddie. I promise you that I'm not going to let that clown hurt you, alright? I promise." Richie said once they made it to their house, Eddie sitting on his large bed as he sat at his desk. "It's fucked with us enough. I'm gonna kill this bitch for good."

"We." Eddie corrected, flickering his eyes up to meet Richie's. "We're going to kill it for good."


	19. Chapter 19

  
If it was up to Richie Tozier, he wouldn't have had to go into the Neibolt house again. He wouldn't have had to call up his friends and assemble their little team and collect as many weapons as they could get ahold of. They felt like downgraded Avengers, standing strong with fire pokers and packets of Sneezing powder out on the cracked, wooden steps.

If it was Richie's choice, he wouldn't have had to hug his mom extra tight before he left that morning with Eddie, telling her that he loved her just in case anything went wrong. He wouldn't have had to see how worried Eddie looked. "I love you too, Richie, don't forget curfew! Make sure that you come back tomorrow when you leave." She said after he told her he'd planned on staying at Bill's home.

He didn't want to stand in that spot again, but it wasn't his choice anymore. In fact, it never really was his choice to begin with.

The clown had complete control. It could rip them apart and throw them around and make them move like puppets, and that was what horrified the teens.

Richie's arms never felt so heavy as he carried his dad's pistol that he'd snatched from their "secret" cabinet. His mouth felt dry at the same time as he seemed to have way too much saliva collecting behind his lips.

"Are you ready?" Ben said, standing behind them. He held a large fire poker. They nodded, Richie's free hand grabbing Eddie's as they made their way into the house.

They wondered if they'd see their fears scattered about the house this time.

The grey water didn't bother Eddie as they waded through it, searching for the same spot as before. His hands only shook slightly with the lack of Richie's comforting one on his own. He replayed Richie's promise in his head.

I promise you that I'm not going to let that clown hurt you, Alright?

I promise you that i'm not going to let that clown hurt you, Alright?

I promise you that I'm not going to let that clown hurt you, Alright?

And here it stood, big and menacing as it towered over the brace teens. Eddie swallowed his fear, just like he swallows his pills. He stared at it with fearless eyes, and It stared right back.

It let out a joyous laugh, the sound shrill as it echoed through the sewer, bouncing off the grey walls and the grey water. "We aren't a-afraid of you." Bill's voice sounded strong despite his stutter, gripping the firepoker in his hand tighter and tighter until his knuckles turned white.

Eddie nodded in agreement, and he heard Richie mumble something from behind him.

"Hmm, you aren't? How about now?" Richie watched as it slowly shrunk, taking the form of none other than little Georgie Denbrough, his arm missing entirely. Bill stared at it with close to emotionless eyes. "You can't scare us anymore." He said, not responding to the sound of "Georgie's" cries and whimpers.

The small boy turned back into the large clown, looking angrier now. It didn't speak, moving simply towards the group of teens, who didn't move back. It smiled an evil smile, lips curling up and sharp teeth pointing from It's lips.

Then Richie felt it, the slight tinge of fear. A small little ounce of it, boiling in his stomach. The clown's head shot up to look at him. He took a few steps back, completely thrown off.

"Richie?" Beverly looked worriedly at him, her eyes scanning over his tense figure. They heard It's low voice, echoing about fear though the wet walls.

Richie suddenly realized his mistake. The slight tinge of fear that he felt, that little bubble was the littlest thing that caused the largest response. He regretted thinking instantly, if the thought of losing Eddie never entered his mind to begin with, the fear wouldn't be there. 

 

It wouldn't be there, taunting and teasing the horrible clown that terrorized the teens of Derry, Maine. 

  
They felt it happened before they saw it happen.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to make the ending different on here than I did on Wattpad. On Wattpad, theres a dofferent ending and a third book, my username is JackKaspbrak if youd like to read that inatead.

They felt it happen before they saw it, the floor rumbling with It's quick steps towards the smallest Teen.

It didn't move faster than they did, but Eddie could only watch as claws extended and swiped aimlessly toward him, slicing through the thick air and none other than thin skin. The pistol in Richie's hands was fired, and the one in Mike's was too. Fire pokers were stabbed and thrown at It, the pale white of it's skin turning grey and dissolving.

It turned, teeth bared as claws dropped thick, scarlet blood, and it made Eddie think.

It made Eddie think about the time he'd dealt with It alone, with the Leper and his mom. When the sickly figure spewed the scarlet blood from its flakey lips. The only difference in his mind now, was that A. He wasn't alone, and B. The blood from before wasn't his.

This blood was, and it looked no different from the leper's blood. Both thick, dripping from It. Both red, irony, and shiny in the dim light.

Blood was blood, whether it was his or not.

It still dripped to the floor from It's claws as he took steps back, hand pressed tightly against his chest where the scratches had been made. It still dripped to the floor as Richie shot at It multiple times, almost crying as the skin dissolved into the air, and the clowns body soon became nothing. Nothing at all, and no more steady Drip Drip Drip of Eddie's blood.

"Eddie!" Richie's voice broke him from his thoughts about the dripping of the scarlet blood. He looked up, looking almost unfazed. "Eddie, oh my God, holy fuck!"

Eddie wanted to laugh it off, because in all honesty, he didn't really feel it. He didn't really feel the burning pain of the cuts, or the way the torn cloth of his shirt flapped against them, damp with his scarlet blood.

"Eddie, shit." The voice wasn't Richie's this time, but he couldn't quite distinguish as the other six teens rushed over to him, his form pressed against the gross, wet walls of the sewer.

He shivered, his back pressed against the cool wall and Richie's hands gripped his shoulders. "Jesus, Eds, fuck, I'm so sorry!" He cried, looking panicked as he couldn't tear his eyes from the scratches, the rips in Eddie's shirt, and the blood.

Eddie shook his head, frowning. "I'm fine, Richie, don't worry about it." He said softly, and he wasn't even sure himself if he was or not, because there was definitely no way it was healthy to have three long cuts across your chest that seemed to be steady pumping blood out of your body. Eddie just didn't feel pain as Richie pulled off his shirt, pressing it tight against Eddie's chest.

He wanted to scream at how stupid the kid was being while he could be fucking dying and none of them knew what to really do. tears built up in his eyes as he could see the angry red scratches, blood spilling from them easily and dripping down the kid's clothes. 

  
"Are you fucking blind, Eddie?! You're not fine!" Richie shouted, sounding angry as he furiously ripped at his Hawaiian shirt with one hand, making some sort of makeshift tie to keep the shirt against Eddie's chest. "Fuck, you're anything but fine right now."

Eddie didn't respond, in fact he didn't thin he really could've. He didn't have much to say as the numb feeling in his chest changed slightly, and he felt the first tinge of sharp pain.

"Is he in shock or something?" Ben asked Stan, eyes wide as all the kids panicked. "No, no I don't think so. I just think the situation shocked him, not in medical shock itself." Stan replied as he watched Richie tie is shirt tightly around the small teen's body. "l think if he was going into shock his breathing would be all fucked up and he'd be shaking."

But he was, or inside he was at least. Maybe he was breathing properly and standing still and just letting Richie tie his shirt around him in his state of panic, but on the inside, everything was different.

He felt like he was shaking, like his core was, not necessarily his body. Maybe it was just because he knew that three long, bloody scratches were meant to hurt and he was purely horrified as to why it didn't. And maybe it did hurt but he was just too caught up in his thoughts to notice.

Richie broke his promise and now Eddie was bleeding steadily all over his shirt, the grey material turning maroon with the liquid that seamed to seem steadily from the cuts as Richie managed to pick him up.

That was a miracle it's own, that Richie had found a way to somehow carry Eddie without hurting the cuts worse. The second miracle was that they made their way out of the Neibolt house faster than they made their way in, all a jumble of screaming and panicking teens.

"What do we do! Eddie's fucking bleeding out and Mike dropped his fucking gun!" Beverly freaked out, pulling at her short hair.

"My friend is dyING IN MY OTHER FRIEND'S ARMS!" Mike shouted, kicking at the side of the house angrily. He didn't care about the gun.

"Oh my oh my oh my oh my , please be okay, Eddie, holy shit oh my God, please fucking be okay!" Ben chanted almost religiously to himself, dirty hands pressed to his temples as he stared at Richie and Eddie. 

  
"F-Fucking clown what th-the fuck!" Bill looked pissed, anger radiating from him as he got on his bike.

"What if Eddie dies? Oh my fucking shit, Eddie's gonna die! Eddie's gonna die and Richie's gonna be fucking lonely and grouchy and i'm gonna lose my best friend oh my FUCK!" Stan freaked out, close to tears as he stared at Eddie in Richie's arms. He got on his bike, ready to ride to the hospital. "We have to take him to the hospital, fuck, he's going to die!"

"Shut the fuck up! All of you!" Richie shouted at them, situating himself on his bike. "Eddie, Eddie I need you to hold on, Okay? You gonna have to hold onto me because I have to get you to the hospital somehow!"

But Richie didn't feel like Eddie was holding on.


	21. e n d

Richie wished it was him instead of Eddie.

He wished the whole situation was avoided and they killed the clown the first time. He just wanted his boyfriend to be okay.

But he clearly wasn't as the six teens waiting in the room, Richie pacing back and forth and the others sitting in chairs. Stan had tears spilling down his face, they hadn't stopped since the doctors took his best friend. Bill and Mike looked mad, and Beverly and Ben just looked purely scared for their friend.

Richie was the worst.

His eyes were red and puffy, blood that wasn't even his covered his whole shirt, his hair was wild and disheveled as he took steps around the room, like it would help anything. Richie wished it was him instead of Eddie.

Waiting took forever, the nurse behind the desk refusing to inform them of his condition because they weren't "Family", which pissed Richie off more than anything. He'd yelled so loud about how the Loser's were more of a family than he'd ever had, that she almost called security before Richie broke down in tears and she felt the pang of guilt. "I'm truly sorry about your friend. I'll let you know as soon as I can what's happening, alright?"

But Richie didn't respond, going back to pacing the waiting room.

More people showed up, not for Eddie, but to accompany the Losers in occupying the small waiting room. They quickly got irritated with the teen's cries and constant pacing.

Richie couldn't stop thinking about what would've happened if it was him instead, because jesus, Eddie is always the one that gets hurt and he doesn't even fucking understand how.

"Eddie Kaspbrak?" A tall man called from the doorway, and Richie didn't think he'd ever turned around so fast. The rest of the losers shot out of their seats, panic washing over them like a wave, swallowing them.

Richie wished it was him instead as they stared at the man in the white coat, who was frowning deeply. He instantly raised his hand to wipe off the tears that set off rolling down his cheeks. "I'm sorry. Your friend lost a lot of blood, and it was too late..."

And Richie lost it, the worst fear he held for his boyfriend had come true as his chest felt tight and his throat closed in. He didn't even know if anyone was talking to him anymore as he swayed on his feet slightly, staring in the once general direction of where the doctor stood.

"Richie?" Ben's voice rang through his ears, but his wobbly legs gave way, his lanky body collapsing to the ground, glasses falling from his face as he curled up, letting the sobs escape his lips. 

"H-He's g-g-gone!" Richie managed to sob out, voice broken and sad as it filled the loser's ears, making fresh tears well up in their eyes too. 

Richie couldn't breathe, his lungs feeling crushed with the weight of losing his best friend and his boyfriend and the same time. He felt like everything he'd ever loved was gone, completely disappeared as he cried on the floor. Eddie is gone, and holy shit, what will I do now?

Eddie, Please don't be gone. Please still be here, make this just a bad bad dream. 

But Eddie wasn't alive anymore. He wasn't going to come through those doors with a smile on his freckled face.

Richie would never see them again. The freckles he lost himself in just like the stars. He'd never hear the infectious laugh or see the wide smiles. 

He couldn't think straight, the only thought in his head was that it wasn't real, and Eddie was alive in one of those rooms, and nothing seemed real anymore. Everything felt wrong, faked. He cried, his sobs wracking his whole body as the losers pulled him into a seat, Bill collecting his glasses from the floor.

"I'm sorry for your loss, kids." The doctor said sincerely, but it was just jack shit to Richie. 

Everything was jack shit to him now that Eddie was gone. 

He wondered what would've happened if they never fought It a second time. Maybe he'd be happy with Eddie, they'd finish school and leave Derry behind, and go to Portland. Richie knew he'd never be able  to go to Portland again. 

He got to sit in the waiting room until Maggie pushed open the heavy hospital doors, eyes wide as he saw her sobbing son in the plastic seats. "Oh, Richie.." Her heart broke at the sight, sitting down beside him and hugging him close. 

Richie found himself sobbing into his mother's chest, and he felt like a child again. He felt like he was back in the days with his caring mom and dad that wasn't always away. He felt like a kid, crying to his mommy. 

But Maggie's hands rubbed at his back and her fingers carded through her son's ratty and tangled curls, shushing him and rocking him gently as he let out little sobs against her, voice cracking with the force of his cries.

He stared out the window on the ride home, forehead pressed against the tinted glass as trees sped by and tears fell from his bloodshot eyes. He felt empty-incomplete as he left Eddie behind in the large building. He left him behind. 

His glasses were disregarded, tossed to the side as his hands made their way to his face, sheilding his view from a world without Eddie Kaspbrak, and that was simply it. 

Richie was alone, stuck wishing he could reverse and go back to the night they spent wishing up at the stars for better lives. Shooting stars were bullshit. Wishes didn't come true.

The lonely boy spent his nights looking through the Polaroid images of the kid, crying as he held tightly onto the clothes he'd left behind, and it wasnt until two months later that Richie finally realized it wasn't fake and Eddie really wasn't coming back this time. 

Eddie was just gone, blown out like the light of a candle, at the mercy of treacherous lips and breath. 

And that was that. Nothing could be done and no one could be blamed aside from the dumbfuck clown known as Pennywise.

He just had to swallow thickly and wipe his tears and somehow convince himself that it would be okay, because Eddie wouldn't want him to be this way. He wouldn't want Richie to live his life sad and hung up on him. 

And Richie wanted to do anything he could to make his little Eds happy, so that was it.

He hoped it made him happy when he pushed on and started getting better grades, and when he made more friends but still stayed close to the losers, even though they seemed to be drifting apart. 

He hoped that every choice he made would make his Eddie spaghetti happy wherever he was. 

And they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end on Ao3, guys. I've got a very different ending for this on wattpad, but trying to put seperate books on here is too much. I'm sorry about the emotional trauma.


End file.
